First off, I urge you to challenge yourself to listening to me, which means listening to my heart. I think any form of social media or electronics prevents us from hearing the hearts of our friends and family because of how ADD we all are. So if you would be so kind to hear my heart by reading through this, I would love that.
This blog post is definitely going to be different because it's going to be honest. I hate how fake social media is and how it's this big artificial world of everyone trying to paint a pretty picture of themselves for more followers, listeners, likes, friends, fame, clients, etc. WELL, I'm just gonna be honest about where I am at with that.
GUYS. Being a photographer in today's age is literally SO FLIPPING HARD. and truly truly exhaustinggg.
Why? because social media has oversaturated the "competition" in the world of photography to a crazy extent. And it's also a bummer to watch so many photographers who have a big following and clientele, make people pay for anything. "Oh you want to know what apps I use to post cool stories? Then I'll make a package of information and make people buy my knowledge off of me." I just wish people were more generous of their knowledge because we're all just trying to make it out there in the scary world of "who's the most successful". NEWS FLASH: the wedding industry is never going to go away?! people are always getting married, so what are we doing if we're not all on the same team??
If you're anything like me, this can be literally one of the most discouraging things on the planet. I feel like I am constantly trying to play catch up with all the other photographers out there. I have had my own wedding business for almost 3 years now and I have watched other photographers blow up with their business within 1 year. I am a 4 on the enneagram which means this is super hard for me because I am CONSTANTLY comparing myself to everyone else and wishing I was where they are in their business. I constantly feel like I must not be a good photographer if I have tried all these things and I am still not where I want to be. Honestly, if I didn't have a photography business this wouldn't be a problem for me. Cause I don't care that much about comparison with my personal account. BUT, when it comes to my photography I totally struggle with it big time. I have so much drive in me to be successful and goal oriented but there are other times when I just want to give up and go crawl under a rock. I often feel like, if I haven't gotten there by now, why keep trying??
There's nothing worse than feeling like a total failure, but there is also nothing worse than feeling like you have to be somebody on social media in order for people to notice you.
THIS IS IMPORTANT:
ya'll. I literally. cannot. stand. people. that. are. fake.
which is why I want to tell you all that I am constantly trying to hold myself accountable to that when I put myself out there on any of my accounts. There is nothing I want more than to be real with you all. And I feel like it has become a "Trend" for people to promote a super happy, go lucky girl, loves Jesus, loves dogs, loves dancing, loves making friends, and takes amazing pictures while also simultaneously models for the camera like a champ. Honestly there is a part of me that is totally influenced by that, but the real part of me also wants to just freaking be me. I hate being someone I'm not. It's just not in my DNA. But I also won't deny that those things I listed above are things that totally are a true part of who I am in my personality, but I don't promote them to the extent of others.
The moral of the story here is this:
I just want to be real and authentic for you guys and for myself. I don't ever want to fall into the trap of a "social media performance". I want to stop comparing myself to other photographers and just enjoy what I do, where I am. I am going to still struggle with it because it's the human nature in me to struggle. But, I really want to be better at finding the joy in my present instead of my unforeseeable future. AND by sharing this with you guys, I really want you to know that this is my way of being transparent with you. And truly allowing myself to be known through a platform that is not the most welcoming of that. And honestly, there are probably only 5 people that could read through this whole thing without losing interest. So props to you guys for actually
listening to my heart, so cheers to keeping it real friends! The End!
PS: here are two bonus photos that are terrible but they make me laugh so hard!! hahah